You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
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