just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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