summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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