if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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