booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize