fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
