Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
