she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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