she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
