I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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