North Korea, Best Korea!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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