Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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