You're my little dorito
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
