i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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