I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
