IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
