I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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