I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
