he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
