I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
