somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm too high and old for this...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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