Sponge bath it is.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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