Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
