they need to just BURY HIM!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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