Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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