girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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