I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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