ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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