do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
bring money and cleavage
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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