This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
