Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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