I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
