is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
