wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize