Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize