i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
