Ambien. No doubt about it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
