so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
