probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
