Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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