you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
