it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize