Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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