So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
