She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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