I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
