matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If I die, sorry about rent.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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