It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
