its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
