I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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