you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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