To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
