im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
