I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I have post one night stand depression
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