I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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