So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
