Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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